Have Faith And Start Trusting Again

Pardon my honesty, and yet, It Is Time.

I feel my biggest lesson is to have more faith in others, to start trusting and hoping again.

I've felt i am on my own since being a child, not necessarily from an ego perspective, since i always felt connected to the Whole of it all, much less on a physical plane with other fellow members, as i've always cared about others more than i do about myself, holding each one in my heart and thoughts endlessly, even after the 7 years connection links, and i felt other's pain as if it were my own. i always felt more happy to give than to receive.

This lesson in itself is very hard and a blocker for me, because of this, people just accepted that I/we do not need any assistance from anyone, and life went on with this perspective in mind, yet each time the unknownable came, i was the first to jump in and endure whatever I had to endure, much like a challenge or reminder for me, that I am still able to do it, in preparation for whatever is in store to come. I feel this dates to a time beyond time of my past experiences, as I thrive most when jumping in chaos, more than while everything is just "normal".

Maybe I am destined to become a leader eventually, maybe the opposite is also true. Yet the only person I ever felt as worth following is MoM, and i've been searching for that mentor consciously for a bit over 10 years now. I find easy to see through the matrix of succes, and know how to navigate it to upmost ma